Im just a peice of meat to everyone

i guess its all up to me now

Dreams.

last night i had a dream that i died. it felt so real. i searched up what it ment and..

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or your life. You are undergoing a transitional phase and are becoming more enlightened or spiritual. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm as it is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent involvement in deeply painful relationships or unhealthy, destructive behaviors. You may feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone who is terminally ill or dying. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation. You are desperately trying to escape from the demands of your daily life.

bitching

i think i can say that no one really understands how it feels to be in a situation like this. guys probably dont understand cause they're not girls. i understand shit happens for a reason and maybe im taking this shit too hard but how can i not? i dont know how to control my emotions. one minute im fine the next im depressed as fuck. i was going in the right direction but this shit fucking blew it. im lost once again and i know for a fact people dont have a clue how it feels to have this shit happen again. i want to stay positive but this shit really brings me down. how can i not keep thinking of the past? it hurts so much, i have to move on but im not letting myself and i dont know why. there are two people in my life that i hate/love at the same time. i guess when you're too nice people walk all over you right? but for some reason i cant manage to change that and be a bitch.


1. when i need you the most, you're not there. how am i suppose to trust guys when you cant even be there for me? you're basically proving my point, i know you're not like that or so you say but at least show me that i can trust you. just stop being so selfish, i need you right now cause now i know i have someone unlike before when i didnt having anybody to lean on, i really dont want to go back to my old self and i know you dont either. i honestly do fucking love you and you know that so please all im asking is for you to be there when i need you the most.